How I came to Peaceful Parenting and where I am on the journey now...

​

My Peaceful Parenting discovery was when I was a first-time mother of a toddler and I felt completely ineffective in getting my toddler to listen and comply with my requests. Yelling, punishments, and threats left a bad taste in my mouth.

The guilt I felt after raising my voice was a clear indication that this punitive approach wasn't for me! I knew I wanted to parent differently than conventional parenting was telling me to but I didn't know HOW!

My own dysregulation and my child's strong-willed personality pushed my buttons in heated moments and kept me from responding in the way that I wanted to! I would try to control my child's behavior to get obedience, my child would resist feeling controlled and losing his autonomy, and I would get upset and raise my voice. I would feel guilty and blame myself for throwing my own tantrum, then cave in to my child's desires by dropping my request, and feeling like I had no control in the situation. Then the cycle repeated itself.

My toddler was running the show!! I knew this was bad news! I was stuck! What was I doing wrong? Was I to blame? Was my child just a handful?

Parenting books and resources were not in short supply. I read plenty of them! After all, parenting is the biggest responsibility I’ve ever had, raising another human being didn't leave much room for mistakes! I was determined to get this perfectly right. Gentle parenting, and connected parenting resonated intuitively with me, but during a moment where I was triggered by my child, overwhelmed by the to-do list, and sleep deprived, all that knowledge left me and I was unable to apply these amazing tools in the heat of the moment!

​

My dream as a parent was to have this delightful and joyful relationship with my child...I had a sense there was a better way, but I didn’t know what I was missing?!

​

Peaceful parenting showed me that I was not broken...and neither was my child! I was doing the best I could given the resources I had at the time.

To every triggering situation with my child, I was bringing my own childhood baggage. My child's big emotions felt like an emergency! My brain learned these reactive responses in childhood and it was doing the best it knew how in these heated moments to keep me safe. Just like my own parents, they did the best parenting they could given the circumstances and resources they had at the time! We are all good inside and we do the best we can! AND when we know better, we do better!

​

When I stumbled upon Dr. Laura’s Peaceful Parents Happy Kids book, of all the parenting books I've read, I knew I had found the parenting approach that was in complete alignment with my parenting instincts! In Peaceful Parenting, I discovered hope in making my parenting dream a reality!

​

Lasting change happens in small increments. I began implementing the tools and practices of peaceful parenting, and little by little, I began to rewire my own brain. It was through trial and error that I discovered what worked best for me. I began prioritizing self-care to replenish my inner resources! Slowly, and permanently, my brain began to rewire for more calm, and less reactivity. I was learning to accept myself and forgive myself for my unskillful responses. I committed to choose love over and over again as much as I could remember!

With the support of a like minded community and other moms on the same path, I found the strength to do this work and continue to do it to this day...it's the work of a lifetime!

Nobody told me that parenting would turn out to be more about “me” than my own children. And I think that’s the big secret about parenting.

We think we are here to teach our children how to show up in the world to live a happy life! Instead, we are here to learn how to love our children!

Unconditionally!

​

Our children are gifts to us, they're our greatest motivation to change! We wouldn't drop to this level of powerlessness in any other relationship than with our precious baby! And not only that, but then transform that powerlessness to learn a better way to show up in this life!

​

As I learned to reparent myself, delight in my children, and create a loving home environment where children don’t just survive but thrive, I’ve developed a passion for helping other moms and dads struggling just like I was because I know change is possible.

I am not a perfect peaceful parent and never will be because there is no such thing! What I do know is that I am good enough just as I am. And so are you!

Whatever you have inside of you is what you will give to your child. What's inside? If your intention is to be perfect, the tension you will experience inside is so HIGH, that it's unsustainable and the pressure will break you anytime you’re “imperfectly human”! Not only that, the pressure will be unbearable and you will end up yelling at your child to make it go away.

However, if your intention is to remember to choose love and not fear, every chance you get... your internal state will be fed from a spring of peace, forgiveness, and joy! And that’s exactly what you'll have to offer your delightful child!

I believe in your goodness….I believe that you’re the perfect parent for your child…I believe that your child is the perfect child for you….You don't have to be "perfect" to be a peaceful parent. There is no such thing!!